24 Comments
User's avatar
Nancy Shaw's avatar

A light flashed when I read that codependency can be mistaken as empathy. I have an acquaintance that, along with enabling, this fits perfectly. (OK, confession... I'm being judgemental.)

And now I'm puzzling about empathy vs sympathy. Once again, you've nudged me out of my box of ignorant comfort to exploring different thoughts and ideas.

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

Always glad to help turn on the mind’s light switches. I once characterized sympathy as the feeling “that’s too bad for you” contrasted to empathy as “I’ll walk with you in this dark place until you get through “

Expand full comment
Rian Alexander's avatar

This is my take on the issue of love and empathy.

Our culture in America has been moving in this direction, roughly since the assassination of JFK. To truly experience, both the giving and receiving of

love and empathy, requires making ourselves vulnerable to another human being.

It's that vulnerability that has become a dirty word. It suggests weakness. We've schooled our children for generations that big boys don't cry. They must be tough. Only girls cry. And feel things. You add the impersonal electronic technology on top of that,and now neither feel comfortable making themselves vulnerable to emotionally open to life.

The word love has lost its meaning without the experience of feeling it.

I believe in love. I believe in God. I believe in the way of Jesus. It's not all sunshine, lolipops and rainbows.

But it's worth it.

Expand full comment
Jim HeckMan's avatar

A poem to ponder if you are unwilling to compassionate with the marginalized:

First They Came

Pastor Martin Niemoller

First they came for the Communists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews

And I did not speak out

Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me

And there was no one left

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

An apt piece. You may not be aware that my mother was in Mauthausen Concentration Camp.

Expand full comment
Jim HeckMan's avatar

Great point. We forgot- God loved us and made himself vulnerable

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

True, Jim! Thanks

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

Thanks for this thoughtful response Rian. I shared related ideas in a series of posts during Lent influenced mostly by Bonhoeffer.

Expand full comment
Rian Alexander's avatar

Thank you Jake. Happy Sabbatical . Bonhoeffer is a personal hero .

Expand full comment
Carol Ann Chidlaw's avatar

Thanks for all you share. I have only recently “discovered” you and your writings/podcasts, so your good thoughts are all fresh and new to me. I support your sabbatical, I look forward to hearing more, I understand your need to cut back. We all do, as we grow … ahem! … more mature. Best wishes to you as your journey continues.

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

So glad we’ve connected! Thanks for understanding my need for rest and restoration. But I’ll still be posting regularly, so I hope to hear from you!

Expand full comment
Tricia Grayson's avatar

Hello to Gracie! Glad she is doing better. Thank you for speaking to truth. I hope you have a restful and meaningful Sabbatical. I can appreciate your wanting to scale back on the frequency of posts. Though selfishly, we always love hearing from you. It may allow you time to dig deeper into topics.

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

Thanks Tricia

Expand full comment
Mcb277's avatar

We wish you and your family a refreshing and blessed Sabbatical. In 3 months, our poor world will be a different place, and we look forward to seeing it through your eyes.

Expand full comment
Korie's avatar

Christian Nationalism is a scary movement… it’s all about absolute power, and we know that absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Expand full comment
Aussie Jo's avatar

Empathy is what makes us, it is important part of our make up and is far from a sin

Expand full comment
Reverend Madge McLain's avatar

What a profoundly important message, Bishop. Thank you for speaking to that which has and continues to confound me. My faith informs me that there is but one way of love.

Expand full comment
Jim HeckMan's avatar

It’s difficult to comprehend how a Christian would label empathy as sin. I used to wonder how the German church could be seduced by Hitler and Fascism. I now think I’m beginning to see history being repeated.

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

Quite disturbing

Expand full comment
Korie's avatar

How could we (humanity) not have learned our lesson?

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

Alas we are great at not learning lessons

Expand full comment
Korie's avatar

Sad but true

Expand full comment
Jake Owensby's avatar

It is hard to get your head around. And I see disheartening parallels too.

Expand full comment